


Angels Will Fly

by bobblowdryar



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Prostitution, prositute!Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:45:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobblowdryar/pseuds/bobblowdryar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard has tried so many ways to get over his ex husband. he’s tried sex, drugs, drinking, self harming, when will it end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angels Will Fly

Gerard’s P.O.V.

The bathroom of my small two bedroom apartment seems emptier tonight. The thoughts of my own feel as if they linger around the room as i hang onto every word I've thought. The blade was cool on my skin and felt like home as I ran it along the scar-covered ,blue veins visible on my pale wrist. I let out a heavy, shaking breath and watched the puff of steam leave my mouth. It’s mid December and I haven’t paid my heating bill in three months, three months since I had gotten laid off. Three months since you left my arms.

~

I rubbed my palms together and blew warm air in between them. Waiting was the worst part of it all. The feeling of being out in the open with nowhere to run if someone had caught onto what you were doing. Moments passed slowly, I felt as if I had been standing there for hours when she had arrived. She looked up at me with her green eyes and smiled. She was a usual customer. She had come to be three times before. 

“Hi Jared.” she beamed. 

I cringed “It’s Gerard..”

“Whatever, are you ready?”

“Do you have the money?”

She smiled and trailed her cold manicured fingers down my spine and slipped a roll of twenties into my back pocket. “I always have the money, and I know you’re the best”

~

I slipped the cash into his hand and looked around me. The night was lit by only stars as I looked at the familiar, pale faced man before me. He handed me a small bag.

“Night Gerard.” he mumbled into the darkness, and slipped away down the alleyway.

I nodded in response moments later, though I knew he was gone, still looking at the small baggy containing the white crystals in my hand.

I ran home and sat on my lame excuse of a bed (just a bare mattress on the floor) and rolled up my sleeves. shaking, I took out my lighter and burned the peeling edges of my skin, somewhat testing the lighter fluid, but mostly doing it for the sake of the pain.

I looked back over at the small baggy and smiled, a small smile. mostly in laughter and the hatred of myself. covered by the slight wheezing and muffled cough I roll a strip of tin foil into a thin roll and fill it with a few of the white powdery stones, I light the tip and inhale deeply at the end. 

I feel my eyes shut slowly and I fall back onto the mattress and smile. The burning sensation of my wrists is soon forgotten as the smoke circles around my lungs. I never want to exhale. I want to feel calm and at ease forever. 

I lay there for what seems like hours until I feel myself needing to breath again. I let the smoke slide out of my nostrils and open my eyes barley. 

I immediately felt the void in my heart fill and I looked at the foiled tube in my hand. I leaned in and took another long drag. It was faster this time. filled with urgency and longing. 

I smiled. I've tried drugs before but never so strong, this was good. But I knew it wouldn't last, first cocaine, then acid, then meth. They all seemed so satisfying. I felt free I felt like nothing could ever hurt me. I laid down and closed my eyes, and nothing could tonight. 

~

I leaned over the sink and rubbed my face with the cool water. I looked into the mirror and sighed taking out my concealer. I tried covering up the wrinkles and peeled skin but I knew I couldn't cover the bags under my eyes. 

I had to see you again. The black wrinkly bags take away from my hazel, brown eyes that you used to kiss under and tell me were beautiful. I frowned and tried to hold in the tears I've been hiding behind my eyes for so long. 

~

I walked into the room. Frank was standing at the front holding our son Ethan on his hip, he was talking to a muscular man in a business suit. at first I thought it was his lawyer until he lent over and kissed him on the forehead making him smile. 

I felt a bulge build up in my throat of sadness and frustration but I only sighed. Ethan was the only one to notice. he looked over and smiled and squirmed out of Franks arms. He ran over and hugged my leg.

“Daddy, I missed you so much!”

I smiled slightly, though it was mostly fake and picked him up and held him close “I missed you too buddy.” 

I was mumbling and looking at the guy that held my love in his arms. he had a blonde beard and bright blue eyes that I’m sure anyone could get lost in. I could have slapped myself for thinking that but it was true. 

he was standing behind frank. His strong looking arms wrapped around his waist from behind and franks head leaned back on his shoulder. I cringed, I really just wanted that to be me.

~

“Mr. Iero you have received full custody of your’s and Mr. Way’s son until he is eighteen years of age. All visiting rights will be decided by you, case closed”

I let tears slip out of my eyes and I ran out of the double doors. Leaving the strange, bear looking man to hold the love of my life and our three year old son. 

small white flakes of snow fell from the grey sky. I searched my pockets shaking for every bit of money I had.

~

I sat on the side of the Bridge Street, bridge and inhaled the crystal like, substance in the fiery lit tin foil. It looked like rock candy and just like a sugar rush it took immediate effect.I smiled and got off the rail and stood on the other side holding onto the rail behind me. 

I let go and let myself slowly fall. I felt my worries disappearing, the memories fading slowly as the wind that blew past me blew them all away.

“Gerard!” I heard your voice but it sounded so distant now. I didn't open my eyes and I felt myself fall into a world of darkness. 

_It’s too cold outside, for angels to fly, an angel will die._

**Author's Note:**

> prompt- A-team, by Ed Sheeran


End file.
